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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Zoomers, a cohort who matured during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the terms gen Z is using to discuss romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their exes unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, mostly benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that immediately shut down any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {